Positive Guidance Seminar

Today's, Xander's primary teacher at school gave a seminar on positive guidance discipline. It was a pretty good seminar. I wish there was more time for questions because I really enjoyed listening to the other parent's questions. Most of the parents had 2 year olds in Xander's class. Their questions really showed that a lot of the kids were giving their parents similar frustrations.

One parent brought up a question about making drop off at school easier. That's something that Dolphin, who drops of Xander, has really struggled with. Xander goes through phases where he is perfectly fine being dropped off and the sometimes, for reasons that we can't figure out, he is extremely clingy and hysterical. Whatever causes these outbursts is either too complex for Xander to explain or he's just emotionally so overwhelmed that he can't. Fortunately, Xander's been an a pretty positive phase the past couple of weeks so let's hope that continues.

Another parent brought up good ole bed time challenges. On this issue, I felt sort of revealed that we weren't experiencing the same challenges. Having a kid cry for 30 min at bed time does not sound like a fun time. We have our own kind of bed time challenges though. I can't figure out if Xander is just really creative at bedtime stalling techniques or being genuine. For a while, he would ask to go to the potty right after the end of the bedtime routine. Of course, he never really had to go that bad, maybe a drop or two came out. This past week, he's been telling us he is scared (tonight it was scared of a big, red, boy robot). At first, I just assumed that he was actually scared, but now I'm not so sure because he says it a lot. Now, I'm starting to wonder if he says it to keep us around longer.

One very frustrated parent brought up battles over getting ready in the morning. We have these, too, although I think things are getting easier. I've gotten into a good pattern of given Xander clothing choices that he'll agree 1o. I've just accepted that he just really loves his gray fleece pants so I offer those as often as they are clean. We still have occasional battles, but in general, he is much more cooperative. I also learned from the seminar that maybe I need to give Xander more opportunities to dress himself. I usually just do it because I can do it more quickly. At school, he does dresses himself. By not setting the same expectation at home, I could be encouraging unnecessary testing around clothing.

There were also some experiences that I didn't really identify with as much. For example, a parent brought up a frustration with getting their kid to sit down for meals. I think this question arose because the kids are all SO behaved for meals at daycare. They all sit down in their chairs, quietly etc. For this one, Xander is not a perfect angel at home, but it's one of those things that I guess I don't really care about. He is very good about sitting down when we start a meal. Sometimes, he finishes and wants to go play or watch TV. I'm perfectly fine if is finished and see no need to force him to stay at the table (just more time for mommy and daddy to talk). Often, he wants us to go play with him, but we just tell him we're still eating so he'll have to wait. Sometimes, he whines and pulls on our arms, but he seems to just be wiling to wait more and more each time.

Finally, a parent did bring up something that really hasn't been a concern for me at all. She was very concerned that her two year old would not stay focused on tasks. I guess I really don't have very high expectations about how long Xander should pay attention to a single activity. I certainly didn't think that his attention span was something that I should influence greatly. Over time, I have seen Xander's attention span for activities lengthen without any kind of purposeful intervention on my part. Now, I'm wondering if I should be paying more attention to this.

Overall, it was really interesting to hear the "venting" from the parents and the "recommendations" from Xander's teacher. I'm definitely glad that I made the time to attend.